我的日記(4)

06/11/XX
我完蛋了。

我今天一睜開眼睛，
頭腦都還沒醒來，四肢都還沒舒展，
我便察覺到一件事，
那就是…
我全身的痛都消失了！
我不但肩膀的痠痛不見了，
連長久的腦神經偏頭痛也好了，
甚至，
我感覺到四肢有著前所未有的輕盈。
我急急忙忙的起身下床，
仔細檢查身體各部分，
搓搓、揉揉、捏捏
試圖找回一點那疼痛的記憶。
但不管怎麼試都沒有用，
我的身體好像在宣告他的勝利似的，
還異常的結實、飽滿，
與充滿彈性。

我知道大事不妙，
馬上火速趕去陳醫生的診所，
陳醫生幫我做了檢查之後，便很興奮的告訴我：「小美，你現在的狀況好極了，之前那些症狀都消失了！妳怎麼辦到的？」
我聽了臉都綠了，
我知道一定事有蹊翹，
這一定都是安排好的。
我開始懷疑我的身體和醫生在聯合欺騙我，
用這種下流卑鄙的手段來故意整我。
陳醫師說我很健康，
我可不這麼認為，
我認為我病了，
而且病得很重，
最好的證據就是我的身體…
我的身體它拒絕服從我了！
我幾乎氣得怒吼，
但是我根本拿它沒辦法。

我一定要採取些辦法反擊！
我開始翻箱倒櫃，
憤怒的把所有的藥丸子找出，
並倒進馬桶。
「哼哼…」我冷笑著，
想要藉此和它宣戰。
我倒是想看看，
如果沒有那些丸子，
它還會快活到哪裡去。

我錯了。
很明顯的，
當我把那些藥丸倒進馬桶時便明瞭了這一切。
因為我發現需要那些藥丸的並不是我的身體，
答案很明瞭了，
我像隻求偶失敗的狗癱坐在地上。
那健康、明朗的我的身體竊竊的在嘲笑著我。

我徹底的完蛋了。

This is the end of me.

This morning when I opened my eyes,
While my brain hasn’t fully awaken and my limbs not fully stretched,
I felt it.
I felt that
All the pain that was in my body has been gone!
Not only was the shoulder sore gone,
My long term migraine was gone,
And even
I felt this lightness in my limbs which I have never experienced before.
I rolled out of the bed,
And checked every parts of my body;
I rubbed them, pinched them, squeezed them,
Trying to find the last trace of pain.
But no matter how much I tried I couldn’t recall it,
My body was asserting its victory;
It was abnormally firm, fresh,
And full of liveliness.

I knew things were really wrong,
So I rushed to Dr. Chen’s office.
Dr. Chen did some checkups and told me in an excited voice, “Mei, your condition is absolutely wonderful! All the symptoms are gone. How did you manage it?”
My face went green after he said these words.
I knew things were definitely not right,
All these must be set-ups.
I began to suspect that my body has teamed up with my doctor,
And used such shady ways to trick me.
Dr. Chen said I was healthy,
But I didn’t think so.
I think I’m sick,
And I’m really sick,
And my best proof is my body…
Look how it refused to obey me!
I was so angry that I was about to scream,
But I couldn’t do anything about it.

I had to do something to strike back!
I began to rampage through my cabinets,
Found all the pills,
And flushed them down the toilet.
I sneered,
And started a war with my body.
I wanted to see that without those pills
What good can it do.

I was wrong.
Frankly,
When I flushed the pills I’ve realized it.
I realized that the one who needed these pills was not my body;
It was such an obvious fact.
I paralyzed onto the floor like a dog that fails to mate.
My healthy, bright body is secretly laughing at me.

This is absolutely the end of me.