♡♡♡♡♡♡尋找小美(暨模仿與卡拉OK大賽) ♡♡♡♡♡♡

這當然不是我本人，我可不隨便拋頭露面的呢~

有鑑於我親愛的廣大部落格讀者與內心景仰愛慕我的一般民眾們對於我的好奇如排山倒水湧來，
我，小美(恕不透露本名)
特別舉辦了這個--♡♡♡尋找小美(暨模仿與卡拉OK大賽)♡♡♡，
以響應廣大愛好者的支持，
並解決長期大家對於我的好奇與疑問！
這些問題，
不外乎：
小美我本人到底在痛什麼呢?
小美我本人到底是何方人也呢?
小美我本人到底是長什麼模樣呢? 是美若天仙還是沉魚落雁呢?(很抱歉沒有其他選項)
小美我本人今年是幾歲呢?
小美我本人到底和陳醫生的關係到底是如何呢?

由於問題實在太多，
族繁不及備載，
我決定藉此次機會，
在中華民國97年的5月16號，
晚上七點鐘的小美急救趴，
一併解決這些問題，
讓眾多云云一解心中大石，
也讓更多人了解小女子本人。

記得喔！

當天比賽除了可以盡情演唱之外，
還要扮裝出你心目中小美我本人的形象喔！
咦?我聽到許多聲音說沒看過我本人怎麼模仿我?
矮牙~沒關係，
你們就以我在妳們心目中的形象進行揣摩嘛~~
這樣不是很有趣嗎?
歡迎發揮各式創意裝扮出你心目中最美的小美形象！！

當日表現最佳者(和我本人最像或是實在誇張有趣讓人激賞者)，
我就會偷偷的走到你後頭，
輕輕的點你一下肩膀，
淺淺的給你一抹微笑，
這樣你就知道我就是小美摟~
呵呵，
怎樣，很刺激好玩吧！不要說出去我是誰喔！(嗯哼)

5月16號！ 等你喔！！

又上報了 可是竟然把我小時候受傷的照片都放出來了呢 羞羞

哇哇 我上報紙了ㄟ~ 感謝沈欲鱗製作人的提拔和建宏大哥的支持

陳醫生留給我的 雖然我也看不懂 嗚嗚....

下午三點四十五分於陳醫生辦公室

我想我也不用自我介紹了，
你很清楚我是誰。
當你看到這片DVD時，
我已經失蹤了，
你可能會猜測我是否遭人綁架，
或是想不開想結束我的生命。
但請你別擔心，
我現在非常好，
意識很清醒，
精神也很正常。

我留這片光碟給你，
只是想告訴你---
小美，
我想我現在能夠清楚的理解你所說的那種痛了，
這並非偶然或是靈機一動所致，
而是在你身上，
在和你看診的過程，
我獲得了漸進式的啟發。
我發現：
原來你就是那個關鍵性的人物。
當我看著你時而激動落淚，
時而放聲仰天長嘯時，
你可知道我內心有多麼的激動？
因為天真單純的你並不知道自己有多麼的特別與重要，
但我卻也不知該如何開口…
告訴你這一切的真相！
因為我怕…
這會影響你平靜如水的生活，
也讓你陷入危機當中。

現在的我並不能和你透露我的去處，
只能告訴你我很好，
雖然集團背後的勢力龐大，
但我想我還是可以倚靠我信任的朋友暫時逃離他們的掌控。
我只想最後告訴你，
小美，
你要堅強！
你要好好照顧自己！
沒有我的日子你也會過得很好。
不要來追查我的行蹤，
日子到了，
我自然會以另外一個面目公諸在這世界面前，
而到時，
相信你一定可以認出，
等我！

陳醫生 Doctor Chen

我的日記(4)

06/11/XX
我完蛋了。

我今天一睜開眼睛，
頭腦都還沒醒來，四肢都還沒舒展，
我便察覺到一件事，
那就是…
我全身的痛都消失了！
我不但肩膀的痠痛不見了，
連長久的腦神經偏頭痛也好了，
甚至，
我感覺到四肢有著前所未有的輕盈。
我急急忙忙的起身下床，
仔細檢查身體各部分，
搓搓、揉揉、捏捏
試圖找回一點那疼痛的記憶。
但不管怎麼試都沒有用，
我的身體好像在宣告他的勝利似的，
還異常的結實、飽滿，
與充滿彈性。

我知道大事不妙，
馬上火速趕去陳醫生的診所，
陳醫生幫我做了檢查之後，便很興奮的告訴我：「小美，你現在的狀況好極了，之前那些症狀都消失了！妳怎麼辦到的？」
我聽了臉都綠了，
我知道一定事有蹊翹，
這一定都是安排好的。
我開始懷疑我的身體和醫生在聯合欺騙我，
用這種下流卑鄙的手段來故意整我。
陳醫師說我很健康，
我可不這麼認為，
我認為我病了，
而且病得很重，
最好的證據就是我的身體…
我的身體它拒絕服從我了！
我幾乎氣得怒吼，
但是我根本拿它沒辦法。

我一定要採取些辦法反擊！
我開始翻箱倒櫃，
憤怒的把所有的藥丸子找出，
並倒進馬桶。
「哼哼…」我冷笑著，
想要藉此和它宣戰。
我倒是想看看，
如果沒有那些丸子，
它還會快活到哪裡去。

我錯了。
很明顯的，
當我把那些藥丸倒進馬桶時便明瞭了這一切。
因為我發現需要那些藥丸的並不是我的身體，
答案很明瞭了，
我像隻求偶失敗的狗癱坐在地上。
那健康、明朗的我的身體竊竊的在嘲笑著我。

我徹底的完蛋了。

This is the end of me.

This morning when I opened my eyes,
While my brain hasn’t fully awaken and my limbs not fully stretched,
I felt it.
I felt that
All the pain that was in my body has been gone!
Not only was the shoulder sore gone,
My long term migraine was gone,
And even
I felt this lightness in my limbs which I have never experienced before.
I rolled out of the bed,
And checked every parts of my body;
I rubbed them, pinched them, squeezed them,
Trying to find the last trace of pain.
But no matter how much I tried I couldn’t recall it,
My body was asserting its victory;
It was abnormally firm, fresh,
And full of liveliness.

I knew things were really wrong,
So I rushed to Dr. Chen’s office.
Dr. Chen did some checkups and told me in an excited voice, “Mei, your condition is absolutely wonderful! All the symptoms are gone. How did you manage it?”
My face went green after he said these words.
I knew things were definitely not right,
All these must be set-ups.
I began to suspect that my body has teamed up with my doctor,
And used such shady ways to trick me.
Dr. Chen said I was healthy,
But I didn’t think so.
I think I’m sick,
And I’m really sick,
And my best proof is my body…
Look how it refused to obey me!
I was so angry that I was about to scream,
But I couldn’t do anything about it.

I had to do something to strike back!
I began to rampage through my cabinets,
Found all the pills,
And flushed them down the toilet.
I sneered,
And started a war with my body.
I wanted to see that without those pills
What good can it do.

I was wrong.
Frankly,
When I flushed the pills I’ve realized it.
I realized that the one who needed these pills was not my body;
It was such an obvious fact.
I paralyzed onto the floor like a dog that fails to mate.
My healthy, bright body is secretly laughing at me.

This is absolutely the end of me.

小美私密心情之三

05/28/XX
其實那些花花綠綠的藥丸挺好看的，
有時候我會看著它們出神，
一不小心就吃了超過醫生指示的量，
那時我不是特別的嗨就是極度的低落。
為了方便吃藥，
我習慣把那些丸子放在喉糖罐裡帶出門，
有時候朋友看我在吃，
也忍不住倒了幾顆進胃裡。
不知道是我剛吃完藥，
還是他們也有了藥效，
那時我看她們的表情好迷濛、發笑點好低，
常常說沒兩句大家就抱在一起笑成一團。
我想他們真是我的知心好友。

Well, actually those colorful pills are quite beautiful,
Sometimes I’d stare at them and blank out.
Sometimes I’d take more than what the doctor has prescribed,
These are the times when I’m either particularly hyper or down.
Sometimes in order to take these pills at a more convenient manner,
I’d put them inside the container of lifesavers,
When my friends see me taking the pills from the lifesaver container,
They can’t help but also take some.
I don’t know whether it’s because I’ve just taken my pills
Or that my friends also got the drug effect,
I see them as having such tranquil facial expressions and having such low laughing points.
We’d laugh and hug each other after just two sentences.
I think they’re really my bosom friends.

我的秘密心情日記~(2)

05/12/XX
從上禮拜開始就覺得肩膀有些痠痛，
不過我想應該過一陣子那疼痛就會自己消失了，
沒想到今天早上我幾乎痛得起不了床。
我一向很能夠忍痛，
而且我也以我的堅忍意志自豪，
但那痠痛持續蔓延，
漸漸的，
我好像有時候會忘記自己說了什麼、去了哪裡。
我想我的腦子大概病了，
但我也覺得還能忍受，
甚至有些享受，
畢竟，我也受夠了身邊的無聊大小事，
尤其是和朋友聚會時的八卦瞎扯。
那種時候，
我慶幸我腦子不聽使喚，
因為我全不記得剛剛發生了什麼事或說了什麼話，
唯一的壞處是當我回到家檢查錢包，
才發現原來我付了全部人的帳。

Since last week I started to have sore shoulders,
But at the time I think the pain would go away all by itself,
And this morning I almost couldn’t get out of the bed because of this pain.
I always feel that I can bear lots of pain,
And I’m proud of this perseverance.
But the pain begins to elevate,
And gradually
I begin to forget what I’ve said or where I’ve been.
I think my brain is probably sick,
But I think it’s bearable,
Or even enjoyable.
After all, I’ve had enough of the ennui around me,
Especially the gossips that come up during gatherings between friends.
When I’m in one of those situations,
I’m glad that my brain doesn’t function well,
And so I don’t have to remember what has happened or what has been said;
The only unpleasant thing is that when I get home and check my wallet,
I’d find that I’ve paid for everyone.

我的秘密心情日記(1)

04/27/XX
今天我終於鼓起勇氣去掛了陳醫生的號，
其實我已經好幾次預約卻又臨時退卻放了他鴿子，
這樣反反覆覆的過了好幾個月，
直到他下最後通牒，
說如果我再不出現他就要把我的藥劑處方取消。

其實我不想去是有原因的，
縱使身邊的人都說應該去看看醫生，
但我覺得我好得很，
根本不需要看什麼醫生，
或花一下午的時間聽那些狗屁建議與所謂專業的諮詢，
更不需要定期吃那些我一輩子都記不起名字的藥丸子。
雖然，
我現在發現我有些依賴它們。

Today I finally whipped up my courage and made an appointment with Dr. Chen.
To be honest, I have made several appointments with him but I always stood him up at the last moment.
It has been like this for several months until he gave me an ultimatum;
He said that if I don’t show up he’ll cancel my prescription.

I have good reasons not to go see him.
Even though everybody around me thinks I should pay the doctor a visit,
I think I’m fine, and I don’t need to see a doctor nor spend an afternoon listening to the crap advice or the so-called professional counseling.
I don’t need to take the pills of which I can’t even remember the names.
However, I do feel that I somehow depend on them now.